Update May 13, 2013
Laurie’s memorial service was held on April 6th,
2013 which was a clear and crisp day in Ottawa. It was a little early in the
year for the appearance of Spring flowers. The conditions were favourable to
those who travelled to the service. It was nice to have people attend for which
a day’s drive was required. Laurie’s service began with a visitation. Many
photos of Laurie throughout her life were there in frame and album formats.
Some of her personal mementos were there that I am sure brought back memories
for some of those attending. The flower arrangements were different from what
one may expect to see at a memorial service. The arrangements included natural
elements including drift wood and tree branches, moss and lichens and an
assortment of flowers that are found more in the wild than in cultivated
environments. The red roses matched those in Laurie’s Ph.D. graduation photo
that stood along with her urn in the arrangements. There was a video of 220
photos of Laurie that were shown with the music of seven songs selected for the
occasion. The songs were “You are Everything” (Jann Arden), “Haunt Me” (Sade),
“Ishkuess” {“Girl”} (Kashtin), “Dark Angel” (Blue Rodeo), “Somewhere Over the
Rainbow” (Tommy Emmanuel), “Turn to Stone” (Sagona) and “Sunshowers” (David
Broadstreet). Many of Laurie’s colleagues from the Canadian Museum of Nature
and other associations came to remember Laurie. It was nice to see that some of
my friends who knew of Laurie but had never met her came along. Many of those
at the visitation knew one another and some old friendships appeared to be
rekindled.
My uncle Bill from Dundas, Ontario, led the
memorial service. After welcoming those in attendance, he introduced Laurie’s
friend Cheryl who read ten tributes. These tributes came from many places in
the world and gave us a reminder of Laurie’s dedication to nature, to science
and her warm personality. Further tributes were read by her friend, Alice, from
Toastmasters International and by Lynn who was Laurie’s friend and supervisor
at the Canadian Museum of Nature. Aspects of Laurie’s life that were perhaps
not known by those at the service gave an idea of the breadth and scope of
Laurie’s interests and contributions to our natural world. My uncle closed the
service by thanking those who remembered Laurie in music, words and thoughts
and to those who helped Laurie along her way through life.
My eulogy to Laurie covered the years from
December,1992 when we met to December, 2012. It was given in two parts with my
uncle reading the thoughts I put to words. Between the two parts, the Voices of
Nature – the Canadian Museum of Nature choir – sang “You are the New Day”.
Laurie was a member of this small choir which also began the service with the
song “She’s Like A Swallow”. The choir sang “Adonai Ro” – Psalm 23 (“The Lord
is My Shepherd”) at the closing of the service. During the service, two of
Laurie’s guitar instructors – both named John, and her friend Heather, played
three songs of which Laurie liked. The songs were “Landslide”, “Wildflower” and
“The Water is Wide”. Many people spoke to me at the reception and said just how
wonderful these songs were played and how meaningfully appropriate they were.
A reception was given after the service where
people once again joined one another in talking about Laurie and the memories
they had from knowing her. I was pleased with the catering that people partook
in. The mementos of Laurie that were in the visitation room were moved to the
visitation for those wishing to spend time on a personal level with Laurie’s
life. Those coming to the service could take a small Memorial Card and The
Order of Service. I have some extra copies of both of these and those wishing
to have one sent to them can contact me.
Laurie’s service was held about five weeks ago
as I write this update. My focus between last December and this April has been
in arranging for a service that people might enjoy and give some ever lasting
memories of Laurie’s life. I hope that I was able to deliver such a service
with the help of those participating. I wish to give a big “thank you” to my
Aunt Nancy and my Uncle Bill who for many weeks had helped me in various ways
for things related to Laurie’s service.
Since the service I have begun to undertake
things that I had wished to leave until later. These things deal with different
“administrative” areas of Laurie’s life that required some attention. Taxes.
Banking. Insurance. I assumed that there would be some anxiety and stress in
the communication of Laurie’s passing and the management of her accounts. As
time quickly proved, I was correct. One would think that all of the
institutions that I contacted would know exactly what I needed to do but at
times this was not the case. Much patience is required and I was correct in
leaving all of these affairs until after the memorial service.
One of the administrative aspects relates to
three legacies that Laurie left. Laurie wished to leave something to
organizations that meant something special to her. Laurie chose to remember
the Sherwood Fox Arboretum at the University of Western Ontario, London,
Ontario. Laurie worked in the arboretum in the late 1990s and she enjoyed
touring such places around the world. I will be presenting the legacy at the
arboretum this month or in June. A tree will be chosen and named in Laurie’s
memory. I look forward to wandering among the trees all the while thinking of
Laurie’s time there – in a place she walked and liked.
Laurie chose to remember the Canadian Botanical
Association (CBA). This was an association that Laurie joined when she was a
student in the early 1980s at the University of Western Ontario. She remained a
life-long member and served as secretary between 2008-2010. Laurie’s legacy
will be used by the CBA in a way that would make Laurie happy. Although I have
some thoughts on how the legacy might be directed it is felt that the CBA will
honour Laurie in a very appropriate way. I have decided that I will be making
an annual contribution to the CBA in further remembrance of Laurie’s interest
and dedication to their causes, values and direction. I would like to thank the
CBA Executive Committee for arranging to have as part of the program at their
annual meeting, a tribute to Laurie. This meeting is being held in Kamloops,
British Columbia, in June of this year. Dr. Lynn Gillespie will be giving the
tribute to many of Laurie’s friends and colleagues.
A legacy was also left to the Ottawa Field
Naturalist’s Club (OFNC). Similar to Laurie’s interest to the CBA, she had a
long-time association and active participation in the OFNC.
Laurie had many friends at the OFNC, in
particular those who enjoyed her keen hobby of bird watching. As well as
watching, Laurie had participated in both of the Ontario Bird Breeding Atlases
and many bird surveys and outings. I knew of Laurie’s love of birds from the
first walk we did together in January, 1993. The OFNC offers field trips to the
membership and Laurie had led some of these with a focus on plants. She was a
broadly knowledgeable naturalist so the identification of other aspects of
natural history were often part of these walks. Laurie also enjoyed
participating in the OFNC outings when she could. She was also a contributor to
the OFNC publication “Trail and Landscape”. Laurie was a member of the Birds
Committee and attended as many meetings in Ottawa as she could. She enjoyed
these times with others who shared her dedication to birds. I have been asked
present Laurie’s legacy to the OFNC steering committee and I am honoured to do
so. The presentation will take place on May 13, 2013 in Ottawa.
I will be arranging a fund for students attending
the Macdonald Campus of McGill University in Montreal, Quebec, to help with the
cost of their greenhouse work. I know that Laurie needed to have greenhouse
space and like most things in this world, it costs money to have this. Although
discussions are to take place, I want to ensure that students who are dedicated
to their research in botany are not limited or thwarted because of the cost of
acquiring greenhouse space. I know that Laurie’s Ph.D. was predicated on her
plants being in a good greenhouse environment. I think that she would be happy
to know that this fund will be established.
Laurie was my wife, my “significant other” for
twenty years. Those years were undoubtedly the happiest of my life. Being
here without her is very difficult. I am sad and miss her tremendously. I think
of her much and keep thinking how unjust, unfair, and undeserving Laurie’s
illness was. I keep thinking of a life that should have been in St. John’s,
Newfoundland. As the seasons change I think of the things that Laurie liked and
did. Seeing the flowers appear that Laurie had once planted. To look at the
flowers in the woodland that Laurie taught me the names of. To see the
flowering shrubs and trees to which the names Laurie told me are sometimes
difficult to recall. All of these things are meaningful and in a way that I
remember Laurie’s pleasure of being outside. Since the service I am finding
that without Laurie, my “significant other”, there is not a lot of significance
in life right now. I retired in October of 2012. This is not what retirement
was meant to be. I am spending time outside in the rock garden and giving
attention to things that require it. I meet with friends for a coffee or lunch
a couple of times each week. I am planning my first trip since Laurie passed
away. I am taking one this year, mostly because of my need to use many air
miles before the end of the year. Part of my trip with be with a friend from
Ottawa and I am happy that he will be joining me for a while. I know that
travelling without Laurie will be hard. I am going to a place that we did not
visit together. I think that returning to somewhere that we visited as a couple
would be too difficult. Planning for this trip will help to keep me busy with
my thoughts on the future.
For many years we have had Barred Owls in our
area. This year, the owls are nesting in a large maple tree just outside the
back door. They are beautiful owls and Laurie would have been so happy to see
them so close and to know that they are nesting on our property. Many of the usual
birds are back and I am going to keep feeding them. I know some would say not
to do so. However, it gave Laurie such pleasure to watch them over the past two
summers that I do not want to end this right now.
Since cancelling the television service in March
I have been watching DvDs such as “Kavanagh Q.C.”, “Inspector Morse” and
“Lewis”. Laurie and I bought many BBC series and I am now going back to watch
them again. I am also reading one of Laurie’s favourite books – “Arctic Dreams”
by Barry Lopez. Although I have only read the first 85 pages, it is a
wonderfully written and poignant account of the Arctic. I know that Laurie read
the book, probably twice, and I now know why. Before picking up this book, I have
been reading various mysteries. I also read “The Rum Affair” by Karl Sabbagh
which is about botanical fraud back in the 1930s in the UK. Laurie and I
visited the Isle of Rum in 2010 and she had that book with her for reading. It
was a gift for her 49th birthday. Most of our books are still in packing boxes
but we had two copies of “Arctic Dreams” of which one had not been boxed away.
In terms of the packed boxes I have done very little. I know that they are
there but I can not begin to open them yet – it is just too soon to do so.
I wish to thank those of you who gave us support
during Laurie’ illness. Thoughts came to us in various ways – flowers, books,
photos, telephone calls, mailed cards and many emails. I know many were
thinking of Laurie often. Visits made by friends to the house and to the
hospitals helped Laurie and I along. This is the final update on the blog. I
would like to thank Marian, the blog master, for giving me the opportunity for
communicating Laurie’s illness in a method that permitted anyone to follow
along. The text and the photos go back a long time and show what just a
courageous, loving and wonderful person Laurie was. You miss her. I miss her.
She will be forever loved and remembered.
To Laurie – my inspiration in life -
When I smell the grass and flowers in the Spring
When I hear the evening sounds of Summer
When I see the leaves fall softly in Autumn
When I watch the snow cover nature in Winter
I know that I will miss you.
When I hear the wind blowing through the trees
When I hear the Raven and look to the sky
I know that I will miss you even more. (Mark)
