July 26, 2011 (Tuesday)
Good morning / afternoon / evening everyone -
The story of Laurie's fight appears to be reaching many people. I do not think that the news has gone viral (can text go viral?) yet but there has been interested readership from around the globe. From Iceland to Australia and from Japan to the Belcher Islands, people have kindly sent me their wishes of hope and for Laurie's speedy recovery. Most of you have included wonderful adjectives in describing Laurie's character which makes me feel confident that she will soon be back on her feet. Many, if not most of you, who are receiving this, and those who receive it indirectly, are pretty busy folks. So, while sitting with a very sleepy Laurie today I was thinking of how to structure the notes so that you find it them easier to read. The easiest thing was to remove the scrolling aspect to reach the current news. This simply meant putting today's news at the top. This certainly helps if you are one of those people at a conference in Australia, say, who are checking the BlackBerry or iPhone during the session breaks while drinking coffee and eating Lamingtons.I would like to be able to actually create a "real" blog but I have never found the time to learn how to do this. I guess that having a blog allows for conversation between the readers. In addition, photos could be shown without having to open attachments. I have a vision that most of the blog creators have a 3 cm by 3 cm "beard" between their lower lip and chin (whereas my beard is full), drink copious amounts of caffeine from a trendy cafe (but never order anything to eat) and wear their pants around their knees. Their blogs are created on colourful computers with names that I have never heard of. They have also learned to blog in a matter of a few days, or hours, and without the need to read "Blogs for Dummies" (as a iBook of course). Maybe my time is better spent fixing that garage door and simply sending out an email.
I arrived at the Civic Hospital about 09:25 feeling hopeful that today would be a good day for Laurie. Her surgery ended about 14:15 on July 24th so she was really just 43 hours out of the OR. Some football games and traffic jams seem to last that long. On arriving in the Neurological Sciences Observation Area Laurie was lying still, face up and breathing quietly. She woke up and we said our hellos but it was not long after that she closed her eye and drifted off again. I say "eye" because she had only the right eye to open. Her left eye, including the eye lashes, was completely swollen over. A rainbow of colour surrounded her eye from the brow to perhaps 3 cms below where her bottom eye lid would likely normally be. The puffiness about the left temple had not seemingly decreased since the twelve hours that I had last seen her. Again, assurances from the staff were given that "this" was normal for patients during the road to recovery. Well, I guess that roads do go up and they go down. This was a steep 1:10 decent in my view. I was expecting some progress, not this. I asked what I could do and was tasked with being the "ice man". This entailed making and putting an ice-pack on Laurie's eye and temple area for about 10-15 minutes each hour. This suited me just fine. I was given a short course in where to find things (ice and bags) and how to ensure that the ice stayed in the bag during application. I guess that inexperienced ice men in the past have ended up giving cold facial washes to those that they were supposed to be tending to. So, I learned how to apply the cold treatment correctly.
Hours went by with Laurie generally sleeping and me trying to put the pack on her head so that it would reduce the swelling while avoiding covering her nose and mouth at the same time. Some progress was made in the physical movement area though. Going to the bathroom is now a walk of four or five meters assisted at all times of course. Before the walk can take place, she must be unhooked of whatever she has attached. Fortunately, this is now only the infamous "squeezer". The IV lines, the BP lines and the oxygen tubes have now been removed. This is much to her satisfaction as she can now fidget without setting off some noisy alert signal. Typically, this noise was attributed to the blood oxygenl sensor falling off or one of her IV lines getting pinched (to no fault of her own she insisted). Hopefully, these delicate pieces of necessity are no longer necessary. Back to the squeezer. As part of my bathroom chauffeur service I learned how to disconnect the squeezer from her legs. Not removing these tubes would result in her staggering to the bathroom while pulling a bed big enough to hold a 227 Kg person (really - that is what the label on the bed shows). More importantly though is the technique required to connect the lines back up once she is resituated in the bed. So, I have mastered this. I am wondering if most hospital tasks are really this rudimentary - some common sense and attention is a good start to performing the work without the head nurse coming down on you.
Lunch was somewhat non-adventurous and she did a superb job in keeping her gown food free. Back to bed with the hourly ice treatment and BP and temperature readings about every four hours. Vital signs look good, very good in fact. The guy across the hall had his monitor such that I could see the readings from my bedside chair. Wow. I would like to have those sorts of numbers but in a bank account! All sorts of people are in the NOA. Some are awaiting neurological surgery, other are recuperating from it. One person, and I believe that I overheard this correctly, had been in there for nearly four months. Remarkably, many of patients here could have been models for Edvard Munch, especially the older ones. Take notice if you are ever in this type of ward. Laurie has even looked a little like one of his characters but she also has had a Mona Lisa type of smile at times too.
Our conversations seemed to happen as Laurie's would awake and say something like "I have been working 30 minutes now and I can not clean that Excel file". Really. You can see her mind at work while she is resting and the expressions on her face constantly moving. She seems to smile much more than frown which is a positive thing. What she says she can not explain if I ask her about it. Today, she did know that we are in the year 2011 and that the day was 26 and that the month was also 26. Well, two out of three is pretty good at this stage. She does say the strangest things and even the nurses have to smile.
Dinner was about 17:15. The tray sat for perhaps 15 minutes as one of my ice packs had just been professionally applied and I did not want to ruin the results of my labour. Besides, the dinners come pretty hot as they have been cooked in a 20,000 watt microwave and the food does need to cool. Last night, Laurie went one-on-one with the Salisbury Steak and met the challenge. Tonight though she opened the plastic lid to face the Shepard's Pie ("calling Pathology to the Kitchen...."). She made an admirable effort at getting through most of it as I kept telling her that she "needed to eat for strength, eat for strength". This also resulted in there not being enough left-over for me to consider eating. Oh well. Tapioca pudding for afters along with tea made her content.
Visitors leave the ward around 19:00 and can return after 20:00 which I do punctually. Just after 20:00 she was as I saw her at 09:30 but amazingly her left eye was opening. It was like watching the moon's waxing crescent surface in a purple and blue Arizona sky on a frosty March evening. The lids on her eyes had separated and the crescent of her eye rose to greet me. She was extremely pleased as I certainly was. I can not help but think that I had been rewarded by my diligent efforts as the "ice man".
Good night from Oxford Station -
Mark
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July 25, 2011 (Monday)
Good evening / morning everyone -
Some of you know that Laurie has recently been ill and for some of you, this will be news. I apologize that not all of her colleagues and friends were not all made aware of her situation at the same time. Laurie's circle of friends is wide ranging. Over the course of nearly 20 years at the Canadian Museum of Nature, her membership in nature and wildlife associations and clubs, her new found interest in Toast Masters International, her second career at Memorial University in St. John's, her studies at Ottawa University and at McGill and those who know her as my partner in life, she has made friends from around the world. I have tried to find email addresses for many of these people to inform you of what is happening.
I do not know if this is a blog since I don't think that I have ever "blogged" and feel that I maybe too old to do such things. Word does travel at light speed now and many of you have sent me messages of support for Laurie and myself. Some of you have called, so many that the mail-box is often full. Some of you have kindly offered me accommodation in Ottawa rather than making the trek back and forth to Oxford Station. I sincerely thank you for your thoughts and kind offers.
I have decided to send an update on some regularity to you. I hope that these updates will not continue long into the future. This would be a good sign that Laurie is home and recuperating from her July journey. If you feel that you would like to pass along these notes to others who know Laurie but who were not on this mailing list then please do so.
I would ask that should you or others want to communicate with us then please do so using the home e-mail address. (remove ampersand 64 and insert at symbol, ed.) It will be several days before Laurie leaves the neurology area so I expect that her recovery will be gradual. I will convey messages to her but replying may be somewhat delayed. In terms of you visiting Laurie I would request that you please hold on a little longer until she is stable and physically able to enjoy your company. I will let you know when this will be.
Thank you all for your messages of concern and prayers. I want to say a special merci to Frederique for calling here and wishing us "bon courage". These are powerful words indeed.
Having a telephone by your bed at night makes for a light sleep. The only call that I might receive would be for bad news from the hospital. No phone rang which was a big relieve so the day looked promising. Into the hospital a little later than I wanted to be as it was a weekday and yes, Ottawa does have a rush-hour! Arrived to see Laurie about 09:30. She was holding a cup of tea up - the last item of her breakfast. She had come out of the operating room under the anesthetic which had gradually faded over the night to the point that she was sitting up and moving a little in bed. She knew me as I walked in and we both smiled and hugged. I think that I had the tears of joy but also of what may lie ahead for her.
Laurie does not know that she has had a brain tumor operation. She thinks that the bandages, gauze, and things that were used to reattach a part of her skull is some kind of hat. I have not tried to tell her what she has recently gone through. Although she does communicate, it is not at the level where she will understand the meaning of her being where she is and everything that she has endured. We spent the day together. As many of you know, Laurie likes to take notes....for just about anything. The house is full of field note books, large calendar format note books and assorted diaries. I feel compelled to record her journey with notes. So, I have a small red binder with about ten written pages of notes so far. Coincidentally enough, this binder looks like those that doctors carry around. Needless to say that I don't need to open many doors throughout the hospital complex.
Laurie will one day read these notes and learn what happened to her in July of 2011. The seriousness of her ordeal can never be appreciated in the notes. The notes are intended to be non-fiction and tell her story through my eyes and ears and the various conversations that I have had with staff and other visitors. There are various statistics written for her vital signs but this would be expected of me.
Returning to this day -
The morning went by with the usual visits by her nurse in the neurological sciences observation area. This entailed putting things back into Laurie's body that had mysteriously loosened or fallen out entirely. Some routine events took place but no visit by the doctor was scheduled until the evening. Her vital signs were healthy and she seemed to not be experiencing any pain....except in her legs. There is a machine, probably better termed a piece of medical equipment, which squeezes the legs and the feet on a constant cycle using air pressure. There are various plastic tubes attached to a pump at one end and hockey-like shin and thigh pads on her legs. A a pair of 'special' socks completes the ensemble. This device helps to maintain blood flow in her legs and feet since she is not using these and there is some possibility of blood clotting. This is somewhat akin to being in a long-haul flight where you sit for hours before standing up and finding out that your legs have left you. But how many four or five day flights are there? This stuff must be very uncomfortable to wear and she does not fully know why she has these things on. As well, she can not really see what is behind the regular puffing up of the blankets around the lower part of her body. It must be a very strange sensation.
Lunch arrived and Laurie ate a pretty good part of it. Some soup, salad, veggie lasagna, juice, tea and diced peaches. She more or less independently ate after I cut things into smaller pieces. She called the lasagna "pizza strips" and asked if we had pizza at home. She laughed at this. Whatever she did not eat went to a good cause - me. I bring a bag of things from home for her that I leave in the car not knowing what she might need or want and when the request might be made. I do bring in her small kit bag with her toothbrush, lotions, lip balms and what not. The hospital is very dry and she remains on oxygen which creates a higher level of dryness as well. After a time with the toothbrush, she settled down and rested for much of the afternoon. Some courtesy calls from the nurse but we spent much of the time just being together.
Dinner was, not surprisingly, the next major event of the day. Again Laurie ate what she wanted and could. She was quite tired at this point after what was pretty much a full day for her. I didn't think that one could still buy Salisbury steak but hospitals apparently can. So, that was the main course along with some beans and what was reported as being 'scalloped potato'. Juice and chocolate pudding and tea as well. She ate quite a bit considering that until today, her last real meal was sometime last Thursday in Halifax. l once again helped to produce clean dinnerware after Laurie was finished her supper.
Before dinner I noticed that the left side of her face was becoming quite swollen and that her left eye was closing. This swelling continued and I asked specifically that the doctor take a look at this. He was to call about 19:00. I get very nervous and frustrated when I see Laurie in difficulty but the staff does not convey any sense of urgency. Some casual explanation is produced but nothing really 'medical' is done. The doctor did arrive and took a look. 'Yes', he agreed that there was swelling but that is not unexpected and would go away with ice, or heat. Strange...these are quite different approaches I thought. The natural choice of ice was made. I was asked to leave the room for an hour so that Laurie's nurses made the day-night shift and other things were to take place. This time allows me to get outside the hospital and check voice and e-mails and to warm up a little (the hospital is quite cool). One can not use electronic gadgets from within the hospital for safety reasons.
Back just 20:00 and an ice pack wrapped in a towel was being used to hopefully reduce the swelling. Laurie seemed to take all this in stride whereas I almost cried. I don't know why but the entire scene was pretty heavy after an emotional day. We sat together until about 20:45 when we said our eveing good-byes. She was very tired and I think wanted to get some rest.
It is late now as I end this summary of our lives from today. The telephone has not rung so that is a good sign that she is asleep and everything is deemed to be OK. Tomorrow is another day which I feel will come awfully early. Some rain is forecasted and the temperature is supposed to be a little cooler tomorrow. I don't know if I will really notice.
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July 24, 2011 (Sunday)
Hello everyone -
I would like to thank you all for writing to Laurie recently to ask how she was doing. I spoke a little with Frederique yesterday but here is Laurie's current situation.
Last Thursday (July 21st) Laurie arrived home a little later than expected from the Ottawa airport. She seemed quiet and quite tired. She went to bed early. Friday morning she looked very tired and she told me that she would not go to work that day which was understandable given her past busy week or two. When I arrived home about 18:20 on Friday, she appeared not to have moved....the tea was still there and the curtains were drawn. I asked her what she had done that day and she said that she had not gotten out of bed.
I decided then to take her to the local hospital in Kemptville which is about a 15 minute drive. We were given immediate attention and a doctor came in to see Laurie. I had some notion that her memory was not very good at this point. This was confirmed by the doctor. After maybe 45 minutes of examination, the doctor said that we were to go to the Civic Hospital in Ottawa. Laurie went with the paramedics in the ambulance and I followed by car. About 40 minutes later Laurie was in the emergency triage area and soon seen by the neurologist who had spoken with the doctor in Kemptville. Laurie was then put into an observation area bed for the night. At 03:00 (Saturday) she had a CT scan. At 11:00 she had an RMI. I sat with her and cried.
Laurie was very ill. The two tests confirmed that she had a large growth on the left-side of her brain. This accounted for her difficulty in speaking and in remembering. The lesion or tumor would be operated on very soon. She was admitted to a neurological patient area and spent Saturday night there.
I arrived on Sunday morning about 08:45. The head of neurology made a visit and then told me that she would be operated on immediately. This meant about two hours later after the operating room would become available. Laurie's operation lasted about 3.25 hours. She has come out of the operation quite well although it is still very early in the battle. I spent about six hours with her in the post-survey recovery room where she was given excellent nursing. After having a follow-up CT scan, Laurie is now back in the room where she spent Saturday night. She was still very quiet when I left her about 21:40 but she has good vital signs and seemed to be somewhat aware of her surroundings. I will be seeing her first thing tomorrow.
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